References become eligible only after an activity is completed. Examples include Practice, Social Dance, Event / Festival, Travelling, Hosting, Private Class, and Collaborate.
If an activity has an end date, the reference prompt unlocks 24 hours after that end date. If the activity has no date range, the prompt unlocks 24 hours after acceptance.
Repeated activity spam is limited. The same pair can only have up to 2 accepted activities in the same month, and they must be different activity types.
Practice and Social Dance share one anti-spam family, so leaving one blocks another Practice or Social Dance reference with the same member for 120 days. Private Class uses the Classes family and blocks another Classes reference with the same member for 90 days.
Travelling, Request Hosting, Offer Hosting, Event / Festival, and Collaborate do not use the long cooldown. Instead, each completed activity can generate one reference.
After a prompt unlocks, you have 10 days to write the reference. Once that window expires, the prompt closes and you cannot submit it later.
Pending references appear in your Profile > References area. You can open the related chat from there if you want to check the conversation before writing.
Once you've both submitted references, they are posted to your profiles at the same time. If only one of you submits, that reference is posted 10 days after it was written.
This keeps trust meaningful while still allowing a clean history of completed activities inside the thread.
Need policy-level detail?
Open the Trust & Safety Guidelines for full policy coverage, reporting scope, emergency guidance, and how moderation handles cases.